That feeling

Banyaknya benda nak cakap.
Banyaknya perasaan yang rasa.

Tapi, entahlah.

Whatever it is, this song stuck in my head right now. I keep listening to this song whenever I get bored even during duduk-duduk sahaja. How many times? I don't know. Sigh.

Kata orang, lagu yang didengari menunjukkan perasaan seseorang ketika itu. Eh, bukan kena dump mahupun putus cinta broken heart 7 hari 7 malam nangis menonggeng itu semua. Tak relate langsung pun. I just listen to this song again and again.

Kalau nak kata tak ada broken heart, tipulah sebab lagu memainkan peranan. Maybe? Hmm... Broken sedikit lah kot when it comes cakap pasal group assignment? Tapi macam tidak sahaja. Because I'm the one who willing to do that assignment. Nak broken dah kenapa? Hmm. Bukan broken sebab group members. Nampak sangat perasaan sedang bercampur baur. Tidak stabil. For time being. Ehhhh, tapikan, kalau group members tak reti nak appreciate someone yang dah burn the midnight oil sampai pukul 3 pagi for three consecutive days memang boleh broken 7 hari 7 malam lah cerita dia. HAHAHAHA

Eh, wait. Seriously, bukan broken heart dengan group members. Tak ada pun sebenarnya. Macam broken dengan classmate (not to mention) that I suddenly inadvertently hurting his heart. Emmm maybe? Before going home for raya if I'm not mistaken. He keep teasing me in class and I don't know whether I'm not in a good mood on that day and I straight telling him ;

"Stop it. Not the right time to tease people. Lame. Sometimes, you makes someone feels annoy with you. You start it first. Sudahlah. Matang lah sikit. Dah tegur sekali tu faham sahajalah. Nak bergurau boleh, tapi bukan selalu and tengoklah the right time."

After that incident, I'm not talking to that person anymore. I blame him because he is the one who create the barriers. Well, don't play-play with introvert person. Once the introvert person speaks, you better watch out. Whether you the one who will hurt more or that introvert person. In my case, I'm feeling guilty. Teramat. Broken pun sama. Haha. Right after class, I text him and said "I am sorry :("

After two weeks, yes. The gap still exist. I can't even look at his face nor talking to him. Senyum pun tidak. Like he never exist anymore. But, the awkward moment is when I start talking to the person next him and pretend not to look at him. Hah!

Honestly, I just can't understand how people can hurt one another easily. 

Me on the other hand : Penat lah baca pasal cinta , kebahagiaan dan kahwin. I will just shut my mind off those things and try to open my mind for others. For technical things, I malas nak belajar. I cuma suka duduk sahaja. Atas katil. Depan laptop. Duduk dan terus duduk.

Sekarang, tak nak lah cakap dengan classmate lagi. Biarkan introvert menjadi semakin introvert. Bukan introvert lah kalau semua benda orang tahu tentang kita. Tak seronok lah begitu.